9 Months
“You may tell a tale that takes up residence in someone’s soul, becomes their blood and self and purpose. That tale will move them and drive them and who knows that they might do because of it, because of your words. That is your role, your gift.”
It's been a fruitful period since I last wrote nine months ago. My creative life has been full to bursting with positivity, and I'm feeling in the flow of things. I hesitate to use the word "blessed," since it's become quite the overused, humble-brag hashtag these days, so perhaps I'll use a slightly less tainted adjective to describe how I feel these days: grateful. I'm so grateful to be right where I am in this present moment, grateful that my circumstances allow me to pursue my path without distractions, grateful for the extraordinary people I'm able to work with, the new experiences I've had, the new places I've been, the new skills I've learned...
In September of 2015 I decided that my marketing materials were finally up to snuff, so I signed up for "Talent Link" (through Breakdown Services) and was contacted by two management companies and an Atlanta-based agent. I was initially disappointed that I didn't get any interest from LA agents, but after talking with Danita Florance at Salt Model and Talent in Atlanta, I decided to take the leap and sign with her. She's a true Southern spitfire, full of charm, spunk and drive, and I'd be surprised if there were a person on earth who had the ability to say no to her. She strongly encouraged me to sign with her and told me that I'd definitely find work in Atlanta. Of course, I'd have to be a 'local hire,' which meant that I'd have to fly myself out and put myself up if I booked a job, but I decided to go for it. Being a middle-aged actor with zero current TV/Film credits in LA is a huge liability. Danita assured me that casting directors are far more welcoming to actors with limited credits in Atlanta--they're just looking for talent. I realized that this would be the perfect way for me to get in the side door of the biz. It took five months of sending in self-taped auditions before I booked a pilot for ABC called"The Jury"--directed by Neil Burger, created by Carol Mendelsohn (NCIS). My character is recurring, so if it gets picked up, I'll shoot at least one more episode! I shot my scenes on March 23, and had the best time. I felt completely at ease without an ounce of nerves, and knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I'm so glad to be represented by Danita, and have a feeling this is just the beginning. An added bonus: Salt is opening an LA office! Much happiness abounds.
In October, "The Moment I Was Alone" was in the Carmel International Film Festival, and my friend Stacey and I took a road trip up there to be a part of the fun. I loved hearing the excited buzz about Kellen Gibbs, our talented young director, and being a part of the Q&A after the screening. The film is absolutely gorgeous, and I know that he's going to have much success. A couple months later, my performance was nominated for Best Supporting Actress when the film showed at the Idyllwild Festival of Cinema (which I wasn't able to attend). This surprised me somewhat, because my entire performance had to be dubbed due to a loud generator on set which ruined the sound! People are always shocked when I tell them that, but I can certainly tell that it's not my original performance on screen. The film has been in several other festivals and has won numerous awards, which doesn't surprise me in the least.
In February, I was thrilled to perform in the world-premiere of "Ameryka," after 6 years of development with Nancy Keystone and Critical Mass Performance Group. We had a catastrophic opening night: with a sold-out house of dear friends, creative glitterati and critics galore, our sound system completely crashed and we weren't able to perform the show. In 30 years of working with Nancy, nothing like that had ever happened before, and it was a huge blow. Most of the friends and creatives were able to come back another time, but we only managed to get 2 published reviews, both of which were positive. The LA Times was there on opening night and did not return, alas. We did get a flurry of reviewers in during the last two weeks, no doubt for awards consideration. Aside from that kerfuffle, the experience was a dream. Audiences were wildly enthusiastic, we had exciting ancillary events like live jazz and political poster-making in the lobby, Madeleine Brand interviewed Jody-David Armour following a matinee performance, and the famous Polish dissident, writer and newspaper publisher Adam Michnik spoke before one show, followed by a wine reception sponsored by the Polish Consulate. There was much talk of the need to take the show to Poland, and Adam Michnik assigned a couple of Polish people to write a major article about the show for his newspaper (which is like the New York Times of Poland). He called Ameryka "a profoundly important cultural event." It speaks powerfully of the human need and desire for Justice, and with the takeover of the Polish government by the right wing, many Polish audience members told us how valuable it would be for the Polish people to see our show. It closed on March 6. I imagine that it will live again, but at the moment we're waiting for our angel to appear who will take us to the next stop on the Ameryka train. It may take some time, but I am confident that one will arrive.
The last thing I'll mention is perhaps the most important thing (at least to me). During a guided meditation, a vision came to me of a short film that I was to write and perform in about climate change. I saw images from the film, in which I played different women speaking from the heart about their personal relationship with the earth, with the idea of climate change, with their hopes and fears for the future. The women hailed from all over the world, and not all of them believed that climate change was a problem. Some were funny as hell, some were profane, some were educated, some were not. I realized that I needed to make this film as a way to touch the hearts and minds of people regarding this issue, because so many people seem to be asleep, and it's crucial that they wake up--Now. I've started writing a treatment, trying to discover who these women are and what they need to say and how best to say it.
I have often wondered why the hell I was tapped to be an actor in this life. Certainly there are far more useful things one could be doing with one's time, especially in this age of careening global climate catastrophe threatening to slam into our whisper-thin, sugar-glass windshield. Acting can be such a silly, superficial thing so much of the time that sometimes I find myself embarrassed by what it is that I do. But truth be told, I have never been driven by money or fame (which must be why I'm so stinking rich and successful!). What I've finally come to realize about myself and the gifts that I've been given is that I have been placed here on this earth at this precise, catastrophic moment in order to embody hope for humanity, to channel the light-filled stories that people need to hear, to inspire them to take positive action, to co-create a healthier, more sustainable future for all the creatures that live and breathe on this earth, not just people. I am part of that ancient, noble lineage of humans who have stood by the fire and told stories, trying to make sense of it all for the tribe, passing down the wisdom so that it is not forgotten but lingers in heart, mind, spirit, blood, sinew and bone.
It is my intention, then, to walk down this path that I'm on full-to-bursting with that light and that mission. I may not be able to fulfill my goal with every single job that I do, but I'll hold it in my heart not matter what.
